A Teacher's Dilemma

I love my job. I know I'm blessed to even be able to type that, but it's true. I've always wanted to teach, and now that I'm a teacher I know that it's what I was meant to do. But being a teacher poses a dilemma. Okay, it poses many dilemmas, but one in particular that is relevant to me at this point in time: maternity leave. I'm caught between two loves. On one hand, I can't wait for Peyton to get here so I can snuggle with him and just take him in. I'm so excited to spend 6 weeks getting to know him as only a mother can. I can't say I'm particularly looking forward to the sleepless nights and recovery of childbirth, but I know that those things are only temporary. On the other hand, I have 20 children already at school. I don't love them as my own, but I do love them, and I'm concerned about their progress. I get extremely nervous about leaving them for 6 weeks with another teacher who doesn't know them as well as I do. I know what they are good at, what they struggle with, who they get along with, who they have a little crush on, and who they need to avoid. As capable as the sub teacher is going to be, I know that I can deliver the lessons a particular way that will be best for them. I'm trying to prepare my students and my sub as best as I can, but eventually I'm going to have to let go of my school children to focus on my real, newborn child. I know how this post must sound. Like I don't love my children as much as my students. That's incredibly NOT true. But to say that I won't worry about them and ask about them is also incredibly not true. Like I said, it's a teacher's dilemma. If you teach (and you love it), you get it.