We bought the car! I've only ridden in it a couple of times so far, but hopefully I'll get to drive it soon. After all, it IS the car that I wanted to get for myself when I got a new car. Eric and I are planning a date day sometime this weekend. It's much needed. I feel myself falling into the mother and teacher roles and forgetting about the wife and friend roles. Thankfully the football game is tonight so we have Friday night, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday to be together. A trip to Hattiesburg to see a movie and eat a nice meal is welcomed. I love being with Kaleb, but not having to appease him with Mum-Mums, Puffs, and bits of our food will be nice.
I see other people's blogs and I think, "How do they have such interesting things to write about? Nothing worth writing about happens in my life." That is definitely not true. You can't teach (especially elementary kids) without having stories to share. Unfortunately, I can never remember them once I get home. I tend to shut off that part of my brain until it's time to get back up the next day. Some call it a blessing, some call it a curse. I'll go with blessing.
In Sunday School we're going through a Priority study. I'm sure I've mentioned it before on here. I've probably already posted my priorities, too. We got a list of over 300 priorities and had to narrow it down to our top 10. Well, I did it twice because I misunderstood the directions. I thought we were supposed to narrow it down to our current top 10 priorities. We were actually supposed to choose the top 10 priorities we wish to have. I only had 2 repeats.
Here's my list of priorities that I currently have:
1. Acceptance - This is a huge deal to me. I've never felt like I've been fully accepted. I'm very insecure about what people think of me and need constant affirmation that people want to be my friend and that I'm worthy.
2. Acknowledgement - I'm selfish. I want to be acknowledged for the good things I do. Sometimes I'll tell myself that I'll do a good deed and keep it anonymous, but it never works out that way. Once again, I need constant affirmation.
3. Credibility - I'm definitely a liar. No doubt about it. I want credibility.
4. Dependability - I want to be known as the person you can turn to. The person who will never let you down.
5. Family - I am totally dedicated to my family, as I'm sure most people are. Eric and Kaleb are my life. I'm ashamed to say that they may even be considered idols in God's eyes. Aside from my little family, my parents and sisters mean everything to me. Occasionally my mind will wander and I'll imagine what it would be like for one of them to die. It's unbearable and I'm dreading that day.
6. Financial Freedom - I want to be debt free. I want to pay for things in cash. I don't want to have to dip into our savings account at the end of every month or use credit cards to buy groceries. I want to be financially sound. It's just so hard to do.
7. Making a Difference - When I chose this I thought of the word "legacy." I want to make a difference in people's lives. I know that I make a difference in my students' lives, but I want to leave a legacy. I want people to remember me when I'm gone.
8. Optimism - Being a positive person has helped me get through some tough times. It's such a drain to be around negative people that I made optimism one of my priorities.
9. Religiousness - Going to church, praying, and reading my Bible are the things I thought of when I put this. The more I meditate on my lists, the more "religiousness" sounds like a bad thing. Like a surface concept. I wanted to go deeper.
10. Security - Security in my family, my house, my beliefs, my ideals, my dreams
Those don't sound too bad, and they're not. But when I looked at all of the priorities on the list, I realized that there are some much more important goals.
Here's my list of hopeful priorities:
1. Faith - This is what took the place of religiousness. To me, faith is all-encompassing. It includes the rituals like quiet times and going to church, but it also goes deeper. It is core value and belief. It is the center of all of my motives, decisions, and actions.
2. Family - Family has to be on my priority list. They're too important. But notice that they are under faith. I know I have to get my priorities straight.
3. Financial Freedom - This one made the cut, too. It's pretty important to me.
4. Respect - This works on two levels for me. I want to be respected as an educator, a mother, and a person. I also want to develop a deeper understanding for the word and apply it to my spiritual relationship and my marriage.
5. Thankfulness - When you count your blessings, you have to have a cheery disposition. This took the place of optimism from my last list.
6. Wisdom - Being wise, making wise decisions, teaching Kaleb (and future children) to be wise is a newfound priority. I think I've always had it but couldn't put a name to it.
7. Giving - God loves a cheerful giver. I've been blessed with so much that I want to be able to give back to others.
8. Patience - My role models here are Melly from Gone With the Wind and Mrs. Duggar. I hope to be the kind of person who has abundant patience with children (and adults). I find it easier to be patient with children because some of them don't know any better. Adults should.
9. Intimacy - I'll leave this one alone since I'm pretty sure my dad reads this post.
10. Honesty - As I stated before, I'm a liar. I desperately don't want to be. My name even means "truth." I would like to live up to that moniker. I try to teach my students that telling the truth is so important that you should do it even if it means you might get in trouble. I feel so guilty for telling them that because I know I don't do it. I vividly remember when I was little and my mom told me to put something away (in the garage I believe) so it wouldn't get wet. Well, I forgot. She went outside the next day and there it was. She asked me to come out there and then asked why I didn't put it away like she said. I looked straight in her face and said, "I did." I mean, seriously, the evidence was sitting right there. I know I didn't do it and she knew I didn't do it. I stuck to my story, but I felt so guilty about it that I've been convicted of being truthful ever since.
So there are my priorities. A bit of a lengthy post, but I felt like I needed to write it.
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