Kaleb Quotes: May 2013

• He was running around the park and came to the bench where his juice was. Then he said, "I need a pet shop." aka a pit stop
• "I love you, but I poo pooed."
• "I always don't go to time out." Honey, the word you're looking for is 'never.'
• "My heart is singing 'Silent Night.'"
• "Mommy, do you have a bathing suit?" YES "Is it a girl bathing suit?" YES "Is it a princess bathing suit?"
• "I love you, but I have to go to the playground."
• "I don't love the family anymore." Who is this kid? A mob boss?

** I'm going to have to start keeping a notepad with me. He says some funny stuff but I don't remember to write it down. These lists could be twice as long.

Oh The Things They Say...

This week's installment:

• "I have an oyster in my mouth."  "You know. Those bumps in your mouth." Ohhhhh an ulcer!
• "My side's been hurting. My mom says it's probably my independence acting up. I might have to get my independence taken out." You do that, dear.

Kaleb Quotes: April 2013

• "Why does that old lady have old hair?" - referring to white hair
• "That cat doesn't know me so I'm a stranger to him. But I'm a good stranger."
• "Thank you for me and my family and for not letting Mommy fly up in the sky and crash." (Kaleb's prayer after I got back from WalMart)
• "I want it to be summer so I can play in the sprinkle."
• After I told him he was being selfish: "I am not a selfish. I don't live in the water."
• "I don't feel good. I think I need a haircut."
• "I got you a flower. Let me wash it first. It's been in the dirt."
• "No, it's a Tah-rad-i-dad-i-saur-us." (not a Tyrannasaurus - silly me)
• "I wish I was in the tv so I could be in Barney's class."

Kaleb Quotes: March 2013

"PDaddy is a sleepy Hulk"
"I'm awesome....I'm like a fast turtle."
"I'll be your friend again when you can behave yourself." to Eric
"I want God to make colors healthy so they don't break anymore" after breaking a crayon
"Can we play with the ho-balls?" talking about hail
"I don't feel good very well."
"I sense I'm growing up."
"At the restaurant there were cookermen and lots of fire." (hibachi)
"When I get four, I'll be big enough to eat. When I'm five I'll be all grown up."
"You have to hit your pants when you sing." (drumming)

Oh The Things They Say...

I'm glad I wrote the post about the funny things Kaleb says. Everyone's told me to write down the things my students say, too and so far I haven't done very well with that. So here's a new series called "Oh The Things They Say..." brought to you by my students' writing. All names have been changed (and may reflect my new love of "Downton Abbey"). Sit back and enjoy this week's installment.

"I was in 1 grade when I built a pecan shooter. I built it out of pipe and a soda bottle. I put the soda bottle on with my half brother. We did it at my house. But it didn't work."

This assignment was to write a letter to the editor about a problem in school.

"Dear Editor,
At Happy Kids School I am sick of my classmates turning into zombies every time the teacher says get out your books. Please come get me different classmates or send me to a different school. They keep trying to eat my teacher's brain. It's freaky. It is annoying after a couple months. I really don't want to get ate by a zombie. My parents will think I have done ran away from home.
Sincerely,
Anna"

"Dear Editor,
My pencil turns into a fish every time I write. It always bites me. It eats my test. And it distracts me and I make bad grades. It also stinks like a goat. And it eats my lunch.
Sincerely,
Daisy"

"Dear Editor,
I don't like the panther on the bus. It chews on my arm. I don't think that's a good thing.
Sincerely,
Matthew"

"Dear Editor,
At school, the bathroom has a troll in it. It keeps clogging the toilet. It keeps hitting people on the head. And it keeps locking the stalls. Can you handle this?
Sincerely,
Lady Sybil"

"Dear Editor,
My classroom is full of sour skittles. I don't be paying attention in class. I be eating. I am big and fat. I weigh 1,000 pounds. I need your help. Please come fix my problem.
Sincerely,
Tom"

"Dear Editor,
The zebras in our classroom are a problem. They keep running around the room and making noises. The ostriches in our classroom are a problem too. They keep poking people with their beaks. Even if the ostrich eggs roll under our desks the ostriches poke everyone in the classroom until we get out of our seats.
Sincerely,
The Dowager Countess"

Until next time...

Kaleb Quotes: February 2013

February

"Tractors poop grass."
"I just want a hundred of them" (talking about cookies)
"You better put on your mask." when I went into the bathroom
"My daddy didn't make me a banana"
When he wants to change activities he says he doesn't love it anymore. He'll say "I don't love to color" or "I don't love to eat oatmeal."
"I'm not a snowman. I'm a snowkid."
"Daddy snores just like a bear."
"You have to put a band aid on your arm when you have bleed on it."