Oh The Things They Say...

I'm glad I wrote the post about the funny things Kaleb says. Everyone's told me to write down the things my students say, too and so far I haven't done very well with that. So here's a new series called "Oh The Things They Say..." brought to you by my students' writing. All names have been changed (and may reflect my new love of "Downton Abbey"). Sit back and enjoy this week's installment.

"I was in 1 grade when I built a pecan shooter. I built it out of pipe and a soda bottle. I put the soda bottle on with my half brother. We did it at my house. But it didn't work."

This assignment was to write a letter to the editor about a problem in school.

"Dear Editor,
At Happy Kids School I am sick of my classmates turning into zombies every time the teacher says get out your books. Please come get me different classmates or send me to a different school. They keep trying to eat my teacher's brain. It's freaky. It is annoying after a couple months. I really don't want to get ate by a zombie. My parents will think I have done ran away from home.
Sincerely,
Anna"

"Dear Editor,
My pencil turns into a fish every time I write. It always bites me. It eats my test. And it distracts me and I make bad grades. It also stinks like a goat. And it eats my lunch.
Sincerely,
Daisy"

"Dear Editor,
I don't like the panther on the bus. It chews on my arm. I don't think that's a good thing.
Sincerely,
Matthew"

"Dear Editor,
At school, the bathroom has a troll in it. It keeps clogging the toilet. It keeps hitting people on the head. And it keeps locking the stalls. Can you handle this?
Sincerely,
Lady Sybil"

"Dear Editor,
My classroom is full of sour skittles. I don't be paying attention in class. I be eating. I am big and fat. I weigh 1,000 pounds. I need your help. Please come fix my problem.
Sincerely,
Tom"

"Dear Editor,
The zebras in our classroom are a problem. They keep running around the room and making noises. The ostriches in our classroom are a problem too. They keep poking people with their beaks. Even if the ostrich eggs roll under our desks the ostriches poke everyone in the classroom until we get out of our seats.
Sincerely,
The Dowager Countess"

Until next time...