The Joys of Gift Cards

I always ask for gift cards for Christmas and usually get them. Well, apparently, I got some last year that I put in my wallet and forgot about so this Christmas I had some extra balances left to spend. Here's a breakdown of what I got:

Belk - two cable nit sweaters (I have a few already but I really like them), a new, firmer king-size pillow, a cute purse, a metallic wallet, some silver earrings, and a cream colored scarf ~ $90

Ann Taylor Loft - a jewel toned pink sweater, a pair of casual dark jeans, a pair of nice jeans, a pair of light gray work pants, and a pair of black tights ~ $110

Borders - to be determined

I ended up spending $20 of my own money because one of my gift cards for $25 only had $13 on it. Otherwise I would have only spent $10.

Christmas Past and Present

Last Christmas we were trying to get Kaleb to turn over. He just layed around while we opened his presents (that were more for us - diapers, diaper genie, etc) and we put bows on his head for fun.

This Christmas he was so active! He crawled up on the fireplace to sit and open his presents. He was more interested in opening the present than the gift itself. Except for the slide. He LOVES his slide. It's amazing how much he has changed in only a year. He's saying new words each day and discovering new things left and right. I can only imagine how much fun next Christmas will be. We may even have a little bundle in the works by then. Who knows?

My Thankful List

I've been watching snippits of Sixteen and Pregnant and Teen Mom. While they got me through some unsure times when I was pregnant, (because I figured that if they could do it then I could do it) I feel sorry for the babies in the show because most of them grow up without two parents and around so much negativity and stupidity. In this post I'm going to make a top ten thankful list for Kaleb and everything to do with his life.

1. He is a perfectly healthy baby. I've read blogs and heard stories of other babies who are born with deformities and painful conditions and it breaks my heart. I know that those mothers and fathers love their children as much as I love Kaleb, and to think that my child could have a condition where he is in constant pain is too much to bear.
2. He is an easy-going and altogether happy baby. I know I probably won't be as lucky with the next child, so I'm trying to take in all of the amazing personality traits Kaleb has.
3. I love this stage he's at when he runs away laughing as you chase him. So far I've loved every stage more than the last and missed every stage that has passed. I loved being able to hold him while he was sleeping, watch him roll over, hear his first words, encourage him to crawl, etc... but this stage is the stage people think of with toddlers. He's running around, laughing, getting into everything, and being mischievous. It's so heart-warming and cute.
4. He loves books. I was really hoping he would like books and he does. He can even say brown bear when he wants to read Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?. Right now his two favorite books are Brown Bear and Goodnight Gorilla. We got him a lot of books for Christmas so I can't wait to see if any of them become his new favorite. My mom said she read lots of books to me every day and I've always done well in school, so I hope the same is true for Kaleb.
5. He's saying more and more words every day. I love hearing him say new words and it seems to be more and more frequent that a new words pops out. Pretty soon I'll be able to have conversations with him. That is so hard to imagine, but even now he can respond to commands and questions using the words he already knows. I'm pretty sure he understands more than what he can say.
6. He has two parents who love and adore him and would do anything in the world for him. One of the biggest things I'm thankful for is that he has a mother and a father who think he hung the moon. There are so many kids out there who only have one involved, loving parent and so many that have none. Kaleb is blessed to have two parents who talk about him and adore his every move.
7. He has other family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) who couldn't live without him. Not only does he have a loving immediate family, but he has other family members who love him as well. I'm so thankful that he will always be surrounded by love and support.
8. He's stinking adorable. I know every parent thinks her child is the cutest, but there are some unfortunate looking kids out there. I'm so glad that he's so cute. Of course, that probably means he'll also be bad.
9. He's growing up in church. I grew up and church and it was never really an option whether we went to church each Sunday. I want this for Kaleb. I'm so glad he's growing up in a church where the adults love him and he's hearing about God. I know that we'll be leaving Waynesboro in another year (going who knows where) and that we'll have to find another church home wherever we end up, but for now he's in a great place.
10. He has his whole future ahead of him. He can be anything he wants to be and we'll support him. I'm thankful that he will always be told that he is loved and smart and accepted.

Kaleb's Checkup

Kaleb had his 15 month checkup 3 days before his 16 month birthday. We've had to reschedule a couple times and almost had to reschedule again but it got worked out.
Height: 32"
Weight 24 lbs
He's in the 75th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight. He's making me nervous because he won't eat meat. I've done some looking online and it says that as long as he's getting protein through milk, cheese, and yogurt he should be okay. He loves fruit and all types of milk products. We're going to try to give him fruit as snacks instead of always goldfish and MumMums. He's pointing to his nose and sometimes hair, he can identify balls around the house, makes the car noise when he sees a car, and is starting to say "Ho ho ho!". Dr. Pujari said she was very impressed with his wordage.

New Series Entry 1 (2-3)

I've been trying to figure out some sort of series that I could blog about at least semi-consistently. I've read other blogs where each day they focus on something. I'm not going to say that I'm going to blog every day or even every Thursday about my new topic, but as it feels right. Okay, my new blog topic: Proverbs 31 - The Biblical Woman. I'm going to take a few verses at a time. Maybe, if one verse is really loaded, I'll do a single verse. I'm not really going to constrain myself. I'm going to let what comes come.

Proverbs 31: 2-3
"O my son, O son of my womb, O son of my vows, do not waste your strength on women, on those who ruin kings."
Let me start off by saying that these two verses aren't actually in the series I want to do. That technically starts in verse 10 with the characteristics of a noble wife. That being said, I included this because it is something I want to teach Kaleb. My modern day translation would go something like this:
"Kaleb, my son, you mean more to me than you know. I've been bonded with you on different levels since the day you were conceived. Your father and I love each other very much and from our love you were born. A word of advice: don't chase after girls (or girls who chase after you). Chase after God. There will be plenty of time to worry about women and dating and all of the things that go along with it. Before you reach that point in your life when you start thinking about finding someone to love, be sure you are well grounded in the Lord. Women and relationships (emotional and physical) can cause you to be so wrapped up in them that you neglect what's truly important. You can be manipulated and deceived when you rush into things. Please take care of your heart and the hearts of the ones you're with."

Realizations

I've always wondered when I would truly feel like a mom. After 15 months with Kaleb it's still so odd to think that I am responsible for this child's upbringing. He will be my responsibility for the next 18 or so years. He's going to scream "I hate you!" to me one day because I'm going to have to ground him. But today I had one of those mom moments. His hair is getting ridiculously long in the back and verging on the side of mullet. Eric's been talking about it the last few days (ahem, weeks) so after his bath tonight I trimmed the back of it. Now, this may not seem like much, but when I was growing up, my mom trimmed our hair and I always thought of it as a true "mom thing" as much as some people think about licking your finger to get a smudge off a face. And today I got to do it. It wasn't perfect, but it was good enough.

On a similar note, I remember when I first felt like an adult. It was the first time I was able to cut wrapping paper by sliding the scissors down the line instead of having to cut each time. Sounds simple, I know, but I remember thinking that when I was able to do that I'd be ready for the secrets of womanhood.

On a non-mom yet somewhat related note, today I felt, for one of the first times since moving to kindergarten, that maybe I wasn't cut out for teaching. I hate having to paddle kids, and I had to paddle one on his birthday. It's true that the kids act crazy and can be rude, defiant, disobedient, and just downright mean, but how should I react to it? Should a hoop and holler? Should I paddle? Should I call parents? Should I take them outside and talk to them? I've done all of these things and so much more. Even though I tell myself "they're just kids" some part of me also says "but they should know not to talk back to an adult." There's just such a discrepency on how kids are raised and what they are taught to do and not to do. I know I would have died before back talking my teacher, but some of these kids straight up tell me that they won't do their work and I can't tell them what to do. A friend of mine was talking to a couple teachers in our district about homeschooling her child (not even one yet) because so many teachers complain about their jobs and she wouldn't want her child going to someone that hates what they do. That really hit me because she is SO right. I wouldn't want to send Kaleb to a teacher who didn't want to be there and didn't care about the kids. (Honestly that would be me some days) My goal as a teacher these next seven school days is to stop and think "What would I do if this were Kaleb?" and "Do I love what I do? Why?"

Weekend Update

Kaleb's had a hard week. He started off early in the week with a fever and some kind of virus. Then it turned into a snotty, coughy mess (which he still has). It makes it really hard for him to suck his fingers when he's going to sleep because he can't breathe through his nose. This has resulted in a lot of rocking so he can sleep in a semi-sitting up position. Then at church today he fell down while he was running and bit the tip of his tongue. It bled a lot and his Sunday shirt was covered in blood. I took him home and he had a very fitful nap. He'd sleep for five minutes then wake up and need to be rocked. Even now he's not sleeping. It hurts him to eat, drink, and suck his fingers.
In unrelated news, we finally got our Christmas tree up. Well, Eric got it up while I slept yesterday morning. I put up about 10 ornaments at the very top so Kaleb can't get to them. His newest game is to throw his ball into the tree and then duck under it to get it. I've wrapped a few presents (footballs are really hard to wrap) and tried to put them under the tree, but Kaleb tried to rip them open so that's not going to work. I'm pretty excited because we've gotten a lot of our Christmas shopping done and the stuff that's not done is at least planned. We're still going to end up broke as a joke.
Kaleb points to his nose now.

Kaleb is sick. He's been sleeping most of the day and is super cuddly, but he obviously doesn't feel well. He basically spent the day rocking and sleeping. We went to the doctor, but other than that he hasn't been out of his room. He hasn't eaten anything except a Mum Mum and hasn't had anything to drink except a little watered down juice. Eric's picking up some Pedialyte because I know we have to keep him hydrated, but he hasn't been awake lon enough to drink anything.
I just finished The Help. It was...a little disappointing at the end. Didn't end quite like I thought it would. It didn't really seem to end at all. I'm curious to see how the movie will turn out. I guess I'll start my next book sometime tomorrow. Since I'm staying home with Kaleb tomorrow I have a few goals that I didn't quite get to today.

1. Finish my chapter questions.
2. Do all of the laundry.
3. Clean up so we can put the tree up.

Traditions

As the holidays roll around, I got to thinking about family traditions. Honestly, we don't really have very many and that's something I'd like to change. Here are the ones we do have.
1. Thanksgiving lunch at Eric's grandmother's house with all of his family. A non-traditional dinner
at my parents house. Our Thanksgiving is sometime that weekend at my Aunt Sibby's.
2. Carols by Candlelight
3. Putting up the Christmas tree and decorations the week after Thanksgiving
4. Buying an ornament every trip we take
5. Making cornflake wreathes
6. Christmas cards
7. NOT shopping on Black Friday

Here are some traditions I would like to start.
1. Making handprint turkeys with Eric, Kaleb, and my hands and writing what we are thankful for
on each finger
2. Baking cookies for Santa
3. Opening a present at our house before heading to the grandparents' houses
4. Filling stockings

Rules for Reading

There are 10 rules I always follow when reading.
1. When you finish a book, wait 24 hours before beginning a new book.
2. Don't plan your next book until you've finished the one you're reading.
3. Read every day.
4. Take recommendations.
5. Read different types of books.
6. Wait until a book "calls" to you before you read it. Otherwise you won't be into it.
7. Think about the book you're reading while you're reading it.
8. Read 5 books before you buy a new one.
9. Make a list of the books you read. It'll make you feel accomplished.
10. Make your own rules.

Thanksgiving Post

During Sunday School today we were asked two questions, "What are you thankful for today that you took for granted this time last year?" and "What are you thankful for today that you didn't previously see as a blessing?".
1. I am thankful for quality time with Eric. The past two weekends we've had the opportunity to spend Saturday together. It was so nice to go out to eat and go see a movie together. We used to go to a movie every week and now it's a rare occassion. It was also nice to eat at a restaurant without having to feed a fussing baby.
2. This one was a lot harder to answer. Something that I wasn't thankful for a year ago that I am thankful for now. I chose Waynesboro. Coming from Jackson and Hattiesburg to Waynesboro was a very big transition. I used to think of Waynesboro as a place where everyone ELSE knew each other and I was an outsider who had nothing to do. Now I have a group of girls who I hang out with on a regular basis, a good church home, and I've started to get used to the "quiet of Waynesboro."

Catch Up Post

It's been almost a month since my last post. I don't really think much goes on in my life that's interesting enough to warrent a post, but I'll do a catch-up one now. We get out of school for Thanksgiving tomorrow and I am SO ready. Holidays aren't for the kids. They're for the teachers. I've had a dissatisfied parent this year (and I've never had that while teaching Kindergarten) so I've been going through a lot of emotions over the past week (when I found out). Of course I felt hurt that someone didn't like me, but, more than that, my confidence in my job performance took a huge plunge. I was basically useless that whole Friday - thus proving my parent right. I've alternated between hurt, sad, angry, and resolved. Right now I've settled on resolved. I am resolved to be a better teacher. I am resolved to win back this parent. I am resolved to help his child as much as possible without sugar coating his difficulties. I have a few kids this year who baffle me. I always have a few..it just goes with the Kindergarten territory.
I'm taking my new Masters class, Current Trends in Reading and Writing. I made an A in Histories and Philosophies of Education and I'm determined to make an A in this class, too. It sure it a lot of work though. Our textbook is made up of research articles and after each section we have between 10 - 19 questions to answer synthesizes and analyzing the articles. Each question has 2-3 subquestions so it's pretty intensive. But it's the only type of assignment we have so I can get used to it.
Church is awesome! I feel so connected to the people and to God and that hasn't happened in a long time. I'm a geographical friend. When I lived in Jackson I had friends, but when I moved to Hattiesburg I lost contact with all but 1 or 2. When I lived in Hattiesburg I was pretty wrapped up in Eric and I had a few friends, but when I moved to Waybo I lost contact with all but 1. I'm sure when I leave Waybo and head somewhere new I'll lose contact with some of these girls. Of course, thanks to Facebook we don't ever really lose contact. We just lose face-to-face contact.
Kaleb is pretty much perfect. He's cut two more teeth up top - molars. Still just 2 teeth on the bottom. Maybe he only has 2. I'm going to ask the doctor when he goes for his 15 month checkup in a couple of weeks. He's saying so many words and is so smart. His little personality is starting to come out and I love it. He's giving kisses sometimes. (most of the time when I ask him for a kiss he says "no" which is cute and sad)
I don't know much else that's going on with me and my life but hopefully I'll be blogging more often.

Values Verses

We are ending our study on priorities and as a last step we're finding Bible verses for each value.
Faith - "'You don't have enough faith,' Jesus told them. 'I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, "Move from here to there,: and it would move. NOTHING WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE.'" Matthew 17:20
Family - "But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve....But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15
Respect - "Do what is right and they will honor you." Romans 13:3
Financial Freedom - "Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness!" Ecclesiastes 5:10
Intimacy - "I am my lover's, and he claimes me as his own." Song of Solomon 7:10
Wisdom - "If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living and honorable life, doing good works with humility that comes from wisdom." James 3:13
Patience - "Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12 AND "We also pray that you will be strengthed with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need." Colossians 1:11
Giving - "You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don't give reluctantly or in response to pressure." 2 Corinthians 9:7
Honesty - "Don't lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds." Colossians 3:9
Thankfulness - "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I realized that there were some days I didn't read my Bible because I was too tired to write a blog about it. So I'm just going to blog on days when I can. That way it can't be an excuse anymore. This week has been all over the place. My best friend had her baby Tuesday and that's be an emotional roller coaster. I've been crying on and off for the past few days and he isn't even my baby. I don't know how Crissy is holding up. (Crissy, if you're reading this, I don't know what to say or what you need from me, but if you'll tell me, I'll try my best to be what you need.) I feel so drained that I might actually be able to sleep now.

My Daily Struggle

"Entrust to me everything that concerns you." When I read that I thought, "Hey, I'm a mom, a wife, and a teacher. Everything concerns me. I'm the worry wart." I have such a hard time trusting someone wholeheartedly. I know that God is the only person whose agenda is intended only to fulfill me and give me strength and knowledge and everything else I strive for. BUT I also have this nagging feeling that if I entrust everything to Him He can take it away and He will to show His all encompassing power. I hear about these people who lose their husbands and their children and I think that if it had been me, you might as well put me in a mental hospital because I would either go catatonic or cry nonstop. Tears well up in my eyes even considering the possibility of Kaleb being taken away from me. It's something I think about all the time. I am so thankful that I have a perfectly healthy son when so many other children struggle with illnesses, diseases, hunger, and hurt. Letting go of Kaleb is something that I'm going to have to work at every day. I know that God's plan will happen whether I give Him everything or not. I'm not controlling Kaleb's life at all by "holding" on to him. He's God's child.
That's just a rambling that's been on my heart.
1 Peter 5:6-7 "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you."
Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

I like doing my Bible sharing on my blog, but I like doing other stuff, too. There will probably be two posts some days. I saw this on another blog and thought I'd do it, too. It's called "Always, Sometimes, Never"
I Always...
- choose sleep over breakfast.
- wait 24 hours after finishing one book before beginning another one. (exceptions: books I've read so many times I've practically memorized them and books in a series)
- wish I had been more productive.
- feel bad about taking a day off work even if it's because Kaleb's sick.
- crave Keifers. Seriously. Always.
- have to think about something positive that will happen that day before I can get out of bed in the morning. It can be anything from The Office to fried chicken at lunch, to jetting to wear jeans at schools.

I Sometimes...
- drink more than one diet coke a day.
- try knew things at my favorite restaurants.
- do my Bible study time. It's getting more frequent.
- want to give Lucy away. Other times I feel bad that we can't give her as much attention as we used to.
- obsess.

I Never...
- drink Dr. Pepper. Yuck!
- want to get out of bed in the morning.
- want to live on an island.
- have naked toenails.
- keep a dry eye during at certain movies or tv episodes. (Little Women, Titanic, the episode of Full House where Papouli dies...)

I fail. I just can't seem to get back on track with my Bible time. I'm either "too busy" or "too tired" or "too sick" to read a 30 second passage and look up a few Bible verses. That's sad. I hope God never decides He's "too busy" to be there when I need him. He actually has a lot to do what with being omni-everything and the Creator of everything. But I know that he would drop everything he's doing at a moment's notice to spend time with me. How selfish does that make me?
Today's passage is eerily applicable. God speaking through others directly to me. This morning I was singing "Jesus, Lover of My Soul" and that exact phrasing is in the reading. God knows you more intimately than anyone else. I know Eric knows me better than any person, but there are sure to be some things I don't tell him or want him to know about me. But God knows everything. He knows me better than I do because he knows what my future holds, what decisions I'm going to make, how those decisions will affect me, and everything I'll be thinking and feeling during those times. I love the sentence that says, "You don't need to work at revealing yourself to Me." That in itself is such a stress-reducer. I don't have to put on this mask or this front with Him. He knows when I'm really hurting or angry or prideful and loves me just the same. (Tangent: When people said that God could never love you any more or less than He does now, it used to bother me because I thought you could always love someone more. It wasn't until later that I realized what a huge burden that lifted off of me. It's not like I have to do something in particular to receive God's love. He loves me to His full capacity all the time. Whether I'm praising Him in church or watching some trash on tv.)
Luke 12:7 "And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows."
John 1:12 "But to all who believed and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God."
Romans 10:13 "For 'Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'"

Trust in God

Okay it's been 3 days since I last did my quiet time and I have no excuse except laziness and lack of desire. But I'm getting back on track. We can be strong and confident and trust in God's enduring love for us. Trust is a hard thing for me to practice. I won't go into all of the details here, but trust has caused many problems for me. For me, part of trust is loyalty and honesty. Satan is the Father of Lies so if we can learn to decipher when we are being lied to, we will be one step ahead in the game. I love how the book says one of Satan's favorite tactics is to undermine our confidence in God...and ourselves. In our Ladies Bible Study we are learning to be content and confident in who God made us to be. We can trust God to always love us and empower us with grace, forgiveness, truth, wisodm, patience, and strength. Today's verses are kind of long, but extremely powerful.
Ephesians 3:16-19 "I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into Gods love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, thought it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
Hebrews 4:14-16 "So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."
John 8:44 "For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of all lies."
James 4: 7-8 "So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world."

In the World

I want to be more aware of God than of the little distractions life throws at me. I want my first thought when something goes wrong (or right) to be of Him and His love for me. In an effort to be totally honest, I don't want to be one of those Christians who can only talk about God. As terrible as it sounds, it's draining to be around them. It's like beating people over the head with it. I feel like we can be immersed in Christ but still have a grounding in the world. In the world but not of the world.
Psalm 89: 15-16 "Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship, for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord. They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation. They exult in your righteousness."
Psalm 16:8 "I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me."
2 Peter 1:2 "May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowldge of God and Jesus our Lord."

Getting Back to the Bible

Sometimes I feel like I rely too much on a devotional book instead of the Bible, so I want to stick to the verses today and talk about what I love about each one.
Psalm 68:19 "Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms."
~ Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a baby again and be carried around all the time. We don't remember that part of our lives which seems sad to me because it's such a bonding time for parent and baby. I always say that the best part of laying down is that you don't have to support any part of your body, you can be fully relaxed and rest. I liken that to being carried. I don't have to support myself. God's loving, protective arms are around me, supporting me when I have no energy or strength to support myself.
1 John 1:7-9 "But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."
~ If we are living with God, we can be cleansed. I don't think anyone claims they haven't sinned. That would be utterly ridiculous. Even if they don't believe that sin condemns them, they recognize it as a wrongdoing. Anyway, the best part is the last part. If we confess he forgives and cleanses. The word "confess" makes me think of a trial. In a courtroom, confessing to a wrongdoing is usually a bad thing that leads to punishment. But in God's house, confessing is what frees you from punishment. How amazing is that!
1 John 4:18 "Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."
~Perfect love expels all fear. When I read this it says to me that love is trust. People fear what they don't know or don't trust...like the future. We shouldn't be putting our trust in anything except God because we can't trust anything wholly and entirely except Him.

Future? What Future?

A lot of what I've read so far in this book has emphasized not worrying about tomorrow, not sweating the small stuff, and finding peace by staying in constant connection to God through conversation. It hasn't been repetitive, but delivers a new aspect to peace and patience. Today's "lesson" talked about leaving the future in the future. Don't worry about what's coming. It made the point that, of God's creations, we are the only ones with the capacity to ponder the future. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not because I know I misuse that ability. On one hand it's important to plan financially for certain big events in your life. On the other hand, it tends to consume my thoughts. My mind needs to focus on the present. My favorite line from today says, "As you walk in the Light with Me, you have one foot on Earth, and one foot in Heaven." As much as the thought of forever terrifies me into being scared of Heaven, it's a nice thought.
Exodus 15:2 "The Lord is my strength and my song; He has given me victory. This is my God and I will praise him - my father's God, and I will exalt him!"
2 Corinthians 10:5 "We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We ccaptrue their rebellious thoughts and teach the to obey Christ."
Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise."

Sit and Listen

For me, waiting quietly and patiently is next to impossible. I have epxerienced God's gentle whisper and it was good. But sometimes I feel like I need the earthquake, the burning bush, or the transfiguration. I feel like I need the big, showy conversations. In the book, it says, "My thoughts form silently in the depths of your being." There are times when a thought or idea will pop in my head and I'll question whether that was from God or just me. The quote above sounds to me like the thoughts I have are really formed by God. That's not to say that I don't make any of my own decisions. That would totally negate free will. But I shouldn't question whether God is telling me to witness or show kindness. I'm sinful by nature. I should know it's not my idea. "I speak to you in holy whispers." Once again, that is such a struggle for me! I'm not as busy as a lot of people, but I find myself getting distracted when I'm still and quiet. I have to put this into earthly terms that I can understand. Today Kaleb and I were rocking outside and it wasn't silent, but it was quiet. I talked to him about God and sang him Bible verses I'd learned as a kid. I know that he probably didn't understand a word I was saying, but it meant so much to me. Maybe that's the point. God cherishes those tender moments when we stop, sit in his lap, and listen to his message of love for us.
1 Kings 19:12 "And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper."
Psalm 5:3 "Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly."

Oh Well!

Ever heard the phrase, "Pick your battles"? This is what we need to do with things that bother us. We expend so much energy on little, insignificant things that when something truly serious comes along we start the battle drained. By remembering that our present suffering will be nothing in comparison to the glory of Heaven, we can shrug off those petty annoyances that used to cause us so much grief. I think about a friend of our Sunday School teacher. He's 46 and suffering from cancer in multiple places. I think about a guy who went to church with me in college. I didn't know him, more like knew who he was. He died Friday from cancer...he was only 26. These are just two of many examples of people with significant issues. I think about 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (see below) and about how our troubles "won't last very long." Even if we live to be 90 years old, that's nothing compared to eternity. Justin only lived on earth 26 years, very short compared to most people, but now his troubles (his very serious troubles, not petty ones like I face) are over forever. Let's face it, we could spend our whole lives asking "Why?". There are so many "unjust" or "unfair" things that happen in our lives that we question. But according to Solomon, the wisest man in the world!, we'll just drive ourselves crazy. Let's learn to say "Oh Well!" to troubles instead of "Why?".
Proverbs 20:24 "The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?"
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 "For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we can see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

Heaven and Earth Intersect in Your Mind

Today's message talked about how we need to constantly remember that there is a war waging for our minds. Our minds are the reason we do what we do and restrain from other things. As it says, we are always bombarded by the media's view of what is right or acceptable and many times it is in direct violation of God's law. The effects of the "wastelands of this world" are seen all throughout the news and daily life. You don't have to look far to see someone not doing what is right. We need to safeguard our minds against these influences by staying in constant communion with Christ. When we hit those mountain top moments, we are experiencing a taste of Heaven. It's too bad we can't feel that way all the time. But when we stay focused on him and set our minds on his will, we can look forward to our next lives with Him.
Ephesians 2:6 "For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ."
Psalm 27:8 "My heart has heard you say 'Come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, 'Lord, I am coming.'"
Romans 8:6 "So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace."
1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the lover of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

The Freedom of Focus

All right! Day 2! I feel better already. Today's blurb focused on focus. "You inhabit a fallen, disjointed world, where things are contanstly unraveling around the edges. Only a vibrant relationship with Me can keep you from coming unraveled too." So many times I feel like I'm about to come unraveled and I've never considered that it could be because my focus is on me instead of on God. Putting all of the focus on myself seems to put too much pressure on me. I can't do it! God gave us free will so that we could choose Him and His control. While I was at Merri-Mac I had one of my cabin girls ask me "Why doesn't God just make us love Him if that's what He wants? He has the power to." It totally caught me off guard and I had no clue what to tell her. Then God spoke directly through my mouth. "I" told her that it means more to Him if we CHOOSE to love Him than if we're forced to. If we choose it, He knows it's coming from our heart, our devotion. I was amazed that response came from me, but I've never thought about free will the same again. Focusing on Him "will protect you from scattering your energy to the winds."
Matthew 6:33 "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
John 8:29 "And the one who sent me is with me - he has not deserted me. For I always do what pleases him."
Colossians 3:23-24 "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Rememer that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ."

Does Planning Show a Lack of Faith?

Last night we had our first Ladies Bible Study. It was great. Carrie is letting me use a devotional book she had called Jesus Calling to help me get back into doing my quiet time. I know that your relationship with the Lord is personal, but I thought that as a way to have accountability for doing my quiet time daily, I'd post a little something that I learned or that spoke to me.
Today's little reading talked about the inherit contradiction between Peace and Planning. When we plan for the future, we're assuming that we are in control and when things fail to meet our expectations, we get discouraged, antsy, or even angry and resentful. What we need to realize is that we aren't in control and never can be. We can plan all we want for the future, but God is the one who directs our paths. (see Prov. 16:9 below) The line that jumped out at me said, "I did not design the human mind to figure out the future...I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me." It gave some Bible verses to read and I'm going to add those to the post because they were really good and obviously applicable.
Psalm 37:5 "Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you."
1 Peter 5:6-7 "So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps."

Goings On

Poor Kaleb baby is sick. Sort of. He's got a rattle in his chest and cough, his eyes are watering, and he had a low-grade fever. I think it's a combination of things. I know he's teething. His upper next teeth are coming in. I think he's got allergies, too. That might be why his eyes are watering and he's being wheezy. Eric's going to stay home with him tomorrow. I think he might be okay to go to Carol's but Eric wants to keep him home. I'm so excited to get my haircut tomorrow. It's driving me crazy! Yup, big blog day. There's actually a lot going on that I can't post because it has to do with work and this can easily be accessed. Just know that things are getting wild.

9-11 Post

Eric and I just watched the 9/11 special on Fox News. It made me start thinking about where I was and what I was doing when I heard about it. I was a junior at Prep in first period. Our teacher told us that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York. I didn't know what that was, but I knew it wasn't good. She immediately steered the class back to math. It wasn't until Spanish class that the details starting coming to us. Everyone was in panic mode talking about the end of the world and nuclear war. A few classmates had friends or relatives in New York at the time and were desperately trying to get in contact with them. Of course they couldn't. My history teacher was the only one who showed the news coverage so most people went into his class during our break. I remember watching all of the coverage all day. They showed it over and over again for a week. I turned to the Disney channel just to get a break from all of it. Marshall Ramsey's cartoon in the paper was a picture of the statue of liberty sitting down and crying with the ash cloud in the background. I'll always remember that cartoon as a representation of how it all felt.

Mobile/Fairhope Trip

Eric and I decided last minute last night that we wanted to go to Mobile. We called up the Satterwhites and they came to Waybo to babysit Kaleb while we hit the road. We left about 8:30 ish. Eric told me he was glad we left late because then it was like we were back in college again. Good times. Anyway, we didn't print of MapQuest directions (even though Eric wanted to) so we ended up getting lost..twice..and calling Brad to see if he could get us un-lost using his fancy internet phone. We passed by some pretty interesting places on our way to downtown Mobile. We finally got to our hotel and pretty much went straight to bed. I know, we're so old.
I had this really weird dream that I was pregnant and having contractions. When I woke up my stomach hurt like I was actually having contractions. It was so odd because when I stopped to think about it, my stomach felt fine, but when I was edging back to sleep, it would hurt again. The bed was so comfortable that if it hadn't been for my weird labor dream I probably wouldn't have woken up at all.
We got up about 8:30 (I was the first one up!) and went down the the lobby's restaurant for breakfast. It was just okay. Then we got ready and when we were checking out a parade started right outside our hotel. Since the whole street was blocked off and we couldn't get out anyway, we decided to stay and watch it. It was a Labor Day Parade and there were all different branches of labor from Alabama marching and driving in it. There were several bands that played (mostly the Hey Song) and they threw out Mardi Gras beads, candy, stuffed animals, moon pies, and toilet paper. Yep, toilet paper. And the people were going crazy for it. I'll tell you what, that was an odd sight.
When the parade ended we hit the road for Fairhope. It's a cute little town that we passed through on our girl's trip to Alabama back in February. I've been wanting to go back because it's just a picturesque little town with shops and eateries. Turns out just about everything was closed for Labor Day. We got to go into a few little shops, but we didn't find anything worth buying.
After Fairhope we went to the huge shopping center..Eastern Shore. It's kind of like the Renaissance in Jackson but bigger. We were only there a few minutes when it started raining. We ended up going to Coldstone, Build a Bear Workshop (we built Kaleb a Saints bear), Barnes & Noble, and Kirklands before we got soaked enough to start heading back to Waybo.
It didn't take too long to get back even though there was killer traffic from the John Mayer concert (I guess). I missed Kaleb and was happy to see him, but he's been really fussy. I think he's teething, but my sweet little boy has been taken over by this fussy, crying baby. I've been rocking him and playing with him and he's doing okay. We'll see.

Top 10 (or 20) Priorities

We bought the car! I've only ridden in it a couple of times so far, but hopefully I'll get to drive it soon. After all, it IS the car that I wanted to get for myself when I got a new car. Eric and I are planning a date day sometime this weekend. It's much needed. I feel myself falling into the mother and teacher roles and forgetting about the wife and friend roles. Thankfully the football game is tonight so we have Friday night, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday to be together. A trip to Hattiesburg to see a movie and eat a nice meal is welcomed. I love being with Kaleb, but not having to appease him with Mum-Mums, Puffs, and bits of our food will be nice.

I see other people's blogs and I think, "How do they have such interesting things to write about? Nothing worth writing about happens in my life." That is definitely not true. You can't teach (especially elementary kids) without having stories to share. Unfortunately, I can never remember them once I get home. I tend to shut off that part of my brain until it's time to get back up the next day. Some call it a blessing, some call it a curse. I'll go with blessing.

In Sunday School we're going through a Priority study. I'm sure I've mentioned it before on here. I've probably already posted my priorities, too. We got a list of over 300 priorities and had to narrow it down to our top 10. Well, I did it twice because I misunderstood the directions. I thought we were supposed to narrow it down to our current top 10 priorities. We were actually supposed to choose the top 10 priorities we wish to have. I only had 2 repeats.

Here's my list of priorities that I currently have:

1. Acceptance - This is a huge deal to me. I've never felt like I've been fully accepted. I'm very insecure about what people think of me and need constant affirmation that people want to be my friend and that I'm worthy.

2. Acknowledgement - I'm selfish. I want to be acknowledged for the good things I do. Sometimes I'll tell myself that I'll do a good deed and keep it anonymous, but it never works out that way. Once again, I need constant affirmation.

3. Credibility - I'm definitely a liar. No doubt about it. I want credibility.

4. Dependability - I want to be known as the person you can turn to. The person who will never let you down.

5. Family - I am totally dedicated to my family, as I'm sure most people are. Eric and Kaleb are my life. I'm ashamed to say that they may even be considered idols in God's eyes. Aside from my little family, my parents and sisters mean everything to me. Occasionally my mind will wander and I'll imagine what it would be like for one of them to die. It's unbearable and I'm dreading that day.

6. Financial Freedom - I want to be debt free. I want to pay for things in cash. I don't want to have to dip into our savings account at the end of every month or use credit cards to buy groceries. I want to be financially sound. It's just so hard to do.

7. Making a Difference - When I chose this I thought of the word "legacy." I want to make a difference in people's lives. I know that I make a difference in my students' lives, but I want to leave a legacy. I want people to remember me when I'm gone.

8. Optimism - Being a positive person has helped me get through some tough times. It's such a drain to be around negative people that I made optimism one of my priorities.

9. Religiousness - Going to church, praying, and reading my Bible are the things I thought of when I put this. The more I meditate on my lists, the more "religiousness" sounds like a bad thing. Like a surface concept. I wanted to go deeper.

10. Security - Security in my family, my house, my beliefs, my ideals, my dreams

Those don't sound too bad, and they're not. But when I looked at all of the priorities on the list, I realized that there are some much more important goals.

Here's my list of hopeful priorities:

1. Faith - This is what took the place of religiousness. To me, faith is all-encompassing. It includes the rituals like quiet times and going to church, but it also goes deeper. It is core value and belief. It is the center of all of my motives, decisions, and actions.

2. Family - Family has to be on my priority list. They're too important. But notice that they are under faith. I know I have to get my priorities straight.

3. Financial Freedom - This one made the cut, too. It's pretty important to me.

4. Respect - This works on two levels for me. I want to be respected as an educator, a mother, and a person. I also want to develop a deeper understanding for the word and apply it to my spiritual relationship and my marriage.

5. Thankfulness - When you count your blessings, you have to have a cheery disposition. This took the place of optimism from my last list.

6. Wisdom - Being wise, making wise decisions, teaching Kaleb (and future children) to be wise is a newfound priority. I think I've always had it but couldn't put a name to it.

7. Giving - God loves a cheerful giver. I've been blessed with so much that I want to be able to give back to others.

8. Patience - My role models here are Melly from Gone With the Wind and Mrs. Duggar. I hope to be the kind of person who has abundant patience with children (and adults). I find it easier to be patient with children because some of them don't know any better. Adults should.

9. Intimacy - I'll leave this one alone since I'm pretty sure my dad reads this post.

10. Honesty - As I stated before, I'm a liar. I desperately don't want to be. My name even means "truth." I would like to live up to that moniker. I try to teach my students that telling the truth is so important that you should do it even if it means you might get in trouble. I feel so guilty for telling them that because I know I don't do it. I vividly remember when I was little and my mom told me to put something away (in the garage I believe) so it wouldn't get wet. Well, I forgot. She went outside the next day and there it was. She asked me to come out there and then asked why I didn't put it away like she said. I looked straight in her face and said, "I did." I mean, seriously, the evidence was sitting right there. I know I didn't do it and she knew I didn't do it. I stuck to my story, but I felt so guilty about it that I've been convicted of being truthful ever since.

So there are my priorities. A bit of a lengthy post, but I felt like I needed to write it.

New Car?

We're going to Jackson tomorrow to, hopefully, buy a car for Eric. His is about to bite the dust and we're trying to get some trade-in value for it before it goes. We're looking at a Ford Escape (orange) at CarMax in Jackson. We've got a "car equity loan" (I seriously doubt it's really called that, but it's like a home equity loan using our car instead of our house) for $5000 that we're going to use as our down payment. We've paid off my credit card and we'll be able to afford a car that costs around $15,000. Hopefully we'll get a little bit of something for Eric's car to help with the down payment. I think I feel more adult buying a car than I did when we bought a house. Weird.
I've got to seriously hunker down and get busy on my homework for this week. Eric's at the ball game and Kaleb's asleep, so now's the time. Too bad I'm engrossed in "Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta." I love the South!!

Kaleb's birthday was amazing! I have to admit, I teared up while we were singing "Happy Birthday." I basically mouthed the last phrase or two. We had a lot of family there, which was just what we wanted. I was sad a few of our close friends couldn't be there, but a lot of very important people were there. Kaleb got some musical instruments (of course). He got a couple of drums, a guitar, a xylophone, a workbench, a giant cube with all sorts of activities, a Jeep walker, and a multi-sport complex thing.
We went to his one year check up yesterday. Poor baby had 3 shots - one in each arm and one in his leg. He had MMR, chickenpox, and Hepatitus A. He'll have to go back when he's 15 months and then at 18 months. Then he won't have to go back until he's 4. He weighed 21 pounds, was 29 inches long, and his head was 45 cm, which translates to 17 inches. In general he's in the 25th percentile. Turns out he's a little baby. I think he'll be built like my dad.
My online class met for the first meeting last night. Overall, I don't think it'll be that hard. It definitely won't be as much work as my summer class, but it'll probably be more boring.
Eric's car broke down so we're going to go get another one this weekend. We might wait until Labor Day in case they're having any sales, but the way his car is holding up (or not holding up) we might want to go ahead and try to trade it in. We're hoping to be able to get a car for $15,000 or under. We'll have $5,000 for a down payment and maybe we'll be able to afford it.

Kaleb's Birthday Eve

Kaleb will be one in about 21 hours. It's absolutely unbelievable. I was looking through all of the pictures we've taken of him and just thinking about how much he's changed. I've included two pictures of him. One is when he was just born and the other is a more recent one of him. We'll be heading to Jackson tomorrow to prepare for his birthday party at Happy and P-Daddy's. I've stolen and modified an idea from a blog I read. I've written a letter to Kaleb for his first birthday. I'm going to do this every year for him and his future siblings until I can no longer write. Well, technically, type. Here it is:

Dear One-Year-Old Kaleb,

I can't believe you are already a year old. I think back to when we first brought you home and those first few weeks when you were in our lives. You were so tiny and you slept all day. Nighttime was a different story though. I remember one night when Daddy was at an away football game and we were on our own. You were just crying and crying and I couldn't figure out why. I had fed you, rocked you, changed you, and done everything else I could think of. When nothing worked I started crying myself. For some reason when I started crying, you stopped. I will always cherish that night because it was the first time I realized that you were a little person with feelings just like mine.

Now that you're one, you're crawling around like crazy. You could be an Olympic crawling sprinter. I put you down at Books-A-Million and you were around the corner within two seconds. You walk around holding onto things and you'll take some steps holding my hand. It is the sweetest thing. You've taken a few solo steps in the past couple of days. I know that pretty soon I'll be chasing you around the house.

You eat baby food three times a day and have a LOT of snacks in between. You generally take four to five bottles a day. We've started weaning you off of your bottle and onto your sippy cup. You HATED your sippy cup the first time we used it. You just cried and cried, I got ears all over my shirt, and I eventually gave in and put your formula in a bottle. We've started giving you milk in a cup and it takes you all day to finish. You're also clapping your hands and saying several words: Mama, Dada, baba, bye bye, uh-oh, baby, and hey. The last few words are hit-or-miss. When you wave bye-bye to other people you use both hands and wave towards yourself. Everyone always loves that.

You're such a little flirt. You smile your adorable, scrunched up face with your four teeth whenever someone talks to you. We can't go anywhere with you without someone telling us how adorable and friendly you are. You are absolutely the best baby in the world. I can't believe how much I love you. There is so much love in my heart for you that I feel like I could power the world.

Mama

I Fall SO Short

Church as really been challenging today. I like that it's challenging, but it's going to be difficult to change my life to meet the challenge. We're still talking about marriage and, I've got to admit, I've felt that my marriage was pretty much perfect...except in one area. Today's sermon hit on that area. The general topic was Radical Marriages: Meeting Each Other's Needs.
Her needs were:

• Kindness and Gentleness
• Conversation and Affection
• Loving Leadership

His needs were:

• Respect and Admiration
• Sexual Fulfillment
• Domestic Support

After the preacher talked about each person's needs, he asked us to evaluate our own performances. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I fall short on meeting Eric's needs. When I read verses that refer to the woman as the "weaker vessel" or being "submissive" to my husband, I get angry and defensive inside. I know that I want to be taken care of and that I want Eric to be the head of the household, but it seems so degrading. Like all I'm meant to do in life is cook, clean, take care of the kids, and meet Eric's NEEDS (if you know what I mean). Like I'm not supposed to have any personal goals, any thoughts or ideas, anything that doesn't serve someone else. I know it's not supposed to be like this and I have to get over this feeling so I'm just going to go for it. I'm going to try to live like the submissive, weaker person I guess I'm supposed to be. Even typing this fills me with dread, anger, and tears. But since it's Biblical I'm going to try to do it. And try to do it with a good attitude.

Fevers of All Sorts

So I might have seen a black widow while I was weeding the front flower bed. Some sort of black spider with a red marking ran out of the ground after I pulled up a weed. I tried to smash it with the rocking chair on the front porch, but it somehow disappeared. Now I'm a little paranoid that it's in the house or curled up somewhere making little black widow babies. Yuck!

I'm starting to get baby fever. It seems like a lot of people are pregnant right now and I'm starting to look back and remember what it was like to be pregnant. I had a fairly easy pregnancy so I wouldn't mind being pregnant again. I know I want to wait another year. With the class I have now, I don't need to be exhausted and huge. I need to be on my game. Plus I need to finish my Masters and wait until Kaleb is a little bit older. At least to the point where he can talk and tell me what's wrong and what he needs. Right now he's saying mama, dada, baba, bye bye, uh oh, and hey. That's not very helpful when he's crying (except the baba part). But it seems like a tough time to be pregnant. Three out of the four people I know that are pregnant right now are having complications. The fourth one just found out this week that she was pregnant, but the other three are farther along.

I finished up my Reading and Writing Across the Curriculum class with an A and will start Histories and Philosophies of Education in a couple weeks. Since I took Teacher as Researcher last summer, after this trimester I'll be finished with the hardest and most boring classes that I'll have to take. If I take one class every trimester and 2 this summer, when school starts next year I'll have 3 classes left to take. I'd like to finish up after the winter trimester because we're planning on having our second baby next April(ish). Of course these are all plans and God could have something else entirely in mind.

10 Commandments for Marriage

Ladies:
1. Give up your quest for a perfect marriage.
2. Give up all hope of changing your husband through criticism or attack.
3. Give praise and affection.
4. Do things your husband likes to do.
5. Provide a peaceful place.

Guys:
6. Assign top priority to your marriage relationship.
7. Dare to talk.
8. Listen without feeling the need to solve the problem.
9. Avoid criticism.
10. Remember the importance of the little things.

First Few Days of School

School started back on Wednesday. By Wednesday night I was totally exhausted. I forget how little kindergarteners know about the daily routines of school when they first start. Getting 20 five-year-olds to be quiet long enough to tell them the days of the week is a serious struggle. As the week progressed things gradually got better. Hopefully next week will be a little calmer especially since we're starting our phonics and math lessons. It will be more structured and that is sure to help improve behavior.
I have 7 girls and 13 boys so it is a VERY active class. Of those children I have one who is severely allergic to several things, a couple with asthma, one who has seizures when it gets too hot, one who has nose bleeds when it gets too hot (yay for a heat wave, right?) and 17 with speech problems. This may be my most challenging year yet. I know that if I write down some of the things that happen to me this year I will be able to look back on them and laugh. Look back WAY later. Eric thinks it's just hilarious. This is what I've heard so far:

1. Me: Who can tell me a month of the year?
Child: Butt-tober!
2. Child: I took my underwear off because I didn't feel like wearing it anymore.
3. Child in the middle of nap time: (Stands in the chair at his desk and shouts) Woo woo! All
aboard! Chugga chugga! (Does his arms in true chugga-chugga fashion)

There's also another thing I wanted to do on this blog that I stole from another person's blog. But it's okay because she stole it from someone else, too. In random order (for the most part) here are My 20 Favorite Things:

1. Eric - knowing that God put one special person on this Earth for me to be with is amazing. There are things that happen with Eric that would completely embarass me if I was with other people...let's just leave it at that.
2. Kaleb - he could actually fill up the rest of my 19 slots. I love his little teeth, rocking him to sleep, watching him grow, hearing him talk, watching other people watching him, his tiny hands, his beautiful blue eyes, when he sucks his two fingers instead of his thumb, when he crawls as fast as he can to me when I pick him up at the nursery, when he giggles when I tickle him, watching him eat Baby Mum-Mums, you get the picture.
3. Keifers - I crave this at least twice a week. It's probably a good thing I don't live near it.
4. The South - I don't think I could ever move away from the south...it's too much a part of who I am.
5. Reading - If I'm not reading something, I feel awkward. I do have a personal policy about starting new books. I have to wait one complete day after finishing a book before I begin a new one. This gives me time to fully digest the first book so I won't mix it up with the second one. Exclusions include books I've read so many times I have them memorized (i.e. Twilight).
6. Kids in general - I wouldn't teach if I didn't love kids.
7. Kudzu - I know it's probably a pain in the butt, but I love it because it epitomizes the south.
8. The start of school - I still get excited about going down the pen aisle at Wal Mart and setting up my classroom for the start of school. I hope this never goes away.
9. Sushi/Hibachi - Why say more?
10. Girl's Night - Getting some time with girls my age who are going through the same things I am is really a release. I love spending time with my boys, but sometimes I just need to be with girls.
11. Coming home after vacation - There's nothing like sleeping in your own bed after a vacation.
12. Hawaii - This is what I think about if I wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream. It calms me down and helps me get back to sleep. We went on our honeymoon, and although the flight was AWFUL, I can't wait to get back. There's enough to do that you don't have to be a beach bum the whole trip. Hawaii is my one exception to my "I hate beaches" rule.
13. Going to the movies - It's such an escape. Every now and then I see a movie I want to rewatch a hundred times. Case in point - Inception
14. Drumlines - God must have given me this special love in preparation for marrying a drummer. I love all of the rhythms and the dichotomy of simplicity and complexity they involve.
15. The thought of traveling to Europe - I have so many plans (well, Eric and I have so many plans) to go to Greece, London, Ireland, Austria, Italy, Sweden, the Netherlands, and so many other places. This will have to be after Kaleb (and other potential kids) are out of the house so we can be gone a while and see it all at once.
16. Reese's Easter eggs - I love seeing them in the aisle at Wal Mart. They also represent the ending of most likely a hard school year.
17. Bed time - Aaaaaah. Talking to Eric at the end of the day is great. I love it because you don't have to support any of your body. When the sheets are clean, it makes it even better.
18. Flip flops - I don't know why, but I love them. I might prefer being barefoot more, except for walking on concrete and asphault.
19. The smell of burning leaves/The smell of freshly cut grass - Fall is epitomized by the burning leaves...when the weather is getting cooler (theoretically) and football is really heating up. Freshly cut grass is more of the Spring and Summer equivolent of burning leaves.
20. Porch swings - I can't wait to have a porch that I can put a swing on. In the summer you can sit outside and listen to rain or drink lemonade. In the summer you can bundle up with a blanket and hot chocolate. There's nothing bad about a porch swing.

Day Before School Jitters

School starts tomorrow for the kids. We've been going for the past couple of days and got to meet the parents and kids on Monday afternoon. Kaleb's been going to a new babysitter since Kristi moved to Shubuta. I'm really sad because she was great. Carol came highly recommended so I'm not too worried about it. Kaleb's always been a happy, easygoing baby. I miss him a lot more this go around than the last one. I only got to be with him for 7 weeks when I first went back to school. Now I know him and have been with him all summer. It's odd not being able to hold him and kiss him and see him smile whenever I want to.

I've started taking sleep aid medicine at night to help me fall asleep. It works great getting me to sleep, but I still wake up a lot during the night. I know I'll need it tonight because so many things will be going through my mind in preparation for tomorrow. I hope I'll be able to stay at school a little bit and get some work done for the rest of the week, but I have to pick Kaleb up at 4 every day so probably not. I'm sure I'll have a more interesting post after these first few days of class.

Glee Night

This morning was pretty busy. I had to go to William Carey for my advisement and other stuff and so I could have lunch with one of my BFFs. Me, Kaleb and Heather ate at Brownstone's for lunch. It was pretty good. I had the side caesar salad and half of a club sandwich (with no mayo thank you). After that I went to Haley's to print something off for my class and to drop Kaleb off so I wouldn't have to worry about him while I was at William Carey. I'm really glad I did because it took FOREVER. I've turned in my portfolio for EDU 636 (Reading and Writing Across the Curriculum), registered for my fall class (EDU 630 - History and Philosophies of Education), and paid for my class. I really needed to get some fabric for my door, but Kaleb was cranky and sleepy so I put it off. He hasn't had his naps today because of all the running around, but I put him in his bed and he eventually fell asleep.

Tomorrow is going to be busy, too. My OB-GYN moved to Birmingham (SO sad because she was AWESOME) so I have to go meet with my new one...in Meridian...at 10:00. Then I'll probably try to get that fabric again and go to the school to do some work. I don't know how much I'll get done since Kaleb will be with me, but I'll do what I can. Then I'm going to a visitation. My first class of Kindergarteners will always mean a lot to me. One of their mom's died yesterday and I almost cried. After the visitation I'm going to a girl's night - which is goini to be really fun.

Saturday I'll hopefully get to go to Hattiesburg with Eric for a date day. I'm thinking Olive Garden and Inception. I'm getting excited just thinking about it. Unfortunately, it's our last weekend of freedom before school starts.

Mainly A School Update

Today has been pretty unproductive. I haven't even taken a shower. I'm trying to take advantage of these unproductive, unshowered days because they are about to come to a rapid halt. School starts Monday for teachers and Wednesday for students. I really need to get up to my room to work but the power has been out all summer and I'm just not going to work in the heat. Once Eric can get my tables down I can really get busy. There's honestly not that much I can do. I know I eluded to my To Do List last blog, but all of that won't take me very long. I'm planning on working Thursday and Friday if the power is on.

I'm going to Hattiesburg tomorrow to turn in my portfolio for my class, talk to my advisor, change my address, and register for my next class. I would really like to take something that isn't so labor intensive since it's going to be during football season and I won't have much help from Eric. I talked to my friend Megan who is almost finished with the program and she said that most of the classes are pretty intense. Oh well. I'm sure I can deal with it. We might have to start putting Kaleb to bed at 7 or 7:30 instead of 8 so I can do some work.

I've decided to copy Denley and make a schedule for the school year. Actually a few different schedules. A work schedule, a cleaning schedule, and a betterment schedule. Fridays will probably be my busy day since that's the day I'll be by myself until either or 11 or 2 depending on if it's a home or away game.
WORK SCHEDULE:
Monday - Master's class
Tuesday - Off
Wednesday - Master's Class
Thursday - Off
Friday - Master's Class

CLEANING SCHEDULE:
Monday - Bathrooms
Tuesday - Dusting
Wednesday - Vacuuming
Thursday - Sweeping/Mopping
Friday - Organizing
Saturday - Laundry

BETTERMENT SCHEDULE:
Monday - Go for a walk
Tuesday - Read
Wednesday - Go to church
Thursday - Read
Friday - Do something nice for Eric
Saturday - Learn a new recipe

Life Update...Probably Too Much

So, some odd stuff has been happening around here. First there was a half-eaten watermelon sitting on our doorstep one morning. It was right after the Fourth of July so I guess I understand the fruit of choice, but why was it on our doorstep? Then, this morning a friend texted me to tell me there was a WalMart buggy in our front yard. I went to check and, sure enough there was. Now, I know that living in a small town where everyone knows where everyone else lives can be dangerous for teachers, but c'mon! I'm feeling a little harassed. It's not like either of these things hurt us, but it's still a nuisance to have to deal with. I feel a little paranoid. I'm staking out on the couch right now waiting to see if someone sticks forks or pink flamingos all around our house.

School starts next week. I have to get my room ready since Meet the Teacher is the first teacher workday afternoon. I need to:

1. Decorate my door

2. Take the tables down from the counter

3. Arrange my room

4. Make my copies

5. Prepare everything for my parents

6. Write names on nametags

7. Print labels off the computer

I'm really excited about school starting back. I usually am about this time. I LOVE hanging out with Kaleb during the summer, but I have to admit that I miss adult interaction. I like getting to know new students. I like schedules. I'm sure that about a month after school starts I'll be counting down the days to summer, but for the moment, I'm ready! I really wish Eric liked teaching as much as I do. I understand that his passion in life is music...specifically playing music...and that he doesn't get to do that right now. I want to support him in whatever he wants to do, but it's going to be hard to pick up and move again. I know that we'll have to wait another 2 years at least so I can finish my Masters program and so we can get the home buyers tax credit. I don't guess I would mind moving somewhere in Jackson or even Hattiesburg, but moving to a place where I don't know anyone and would have to start all over again makes me nervous. I want Kaleb to have friends. I want him to invite people to his birthday parties when he gets older. I want to have friends, too. I feel like I have that here now...for the most part anyway.

Kaleb is the best! He just loves on me and smiles at me. He loves being hugged and rocked and tickled and kissed. He's my favorite. I was thinking the other day that if even half of the mothers in the world loved their babies as much as I love Kaleb, how could the world be filled with anything but love? I guess that evil is twice as powerful, no, influential, as love. I don't believe that. Love is the most amazing thing in the world. I hope that my sisters and all of my friends get to experience the fullness that comes from having your own child. Kaleb's birthday is about 4 weeks away. I'm excited for this milestone in his life, but it also makes me sad to think that his first year is almost over. We're having a jungle birthday party in Jackson with just family and close friends. It's going to be great.

I've gotten to fulfill my quota of books for the summer. I decided to go easy since I hadn't finished Gone with the Wind yet. I chose 5 as my goal. I started a book today that I may or may not finish before school starts. I'll list them and give you my analysis. The 5 I read, I think in order, are:

1. Gone with the Wind - This is my favorite movie so I thought it was about time I read the book. It was actually very similar to the movie, which I liked. I knew what to expect but I also learned some things about the Civil War and Reconstruction. I think everyone should read this book because it is such an in-depth look at a major part of Southern history.

2. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - This was a surprisingly short book. I finished GWTW half way through our flight back to Jackson and decided I needed a short book to tie me over until I got back to Waynesboro and my book collection. I was expecting it to be a horror novel and that I would be scared stupid reading it (like I've heard about The Shining), but it wasn't. It was more a of a think-about-it horror novella. The dichotomy between good and evil was absolutely personified in these two characters.

3. Incarceron - A story of a prison come to life. This was a sci-fi book I picked up for Eric around the beginning of the year. It was interesting, but not my favorite. It's actually really difficult to explain so you should read it yourself. Even if it's not your style you can always learn from a book read.

4. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - This book gave an amazing glimpse into the life of a boy with autism. While I was reading it I felt like it was perfectly natural for the main character to cover his ears, close his eyes, groan, and bark like a dog. It was a fantastic view of what he thinks and goes through every day. Every special education teacher or parent of a child with autism should read it.

5. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner - I'm obsessed with Twilight...more specifically Edward and Bella's relationship. I didn't think I would like this book because it didn't feature their love story. I'll admit it wasn't as compelling as the Twilight series, but I did think it added more depth to the entire vampiric persona.

The one I'm reading now is The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Need. Sleep. Please.

Today was so tiring. I haven't been able to sleep for the past couple of nights because my brain won't shut up. I'm either thinking about Kaleb, starting a women's Bible study group, the $8000 the IRS didn't give us (but owe us), if I'll continue taking Masters classes, etc. Nothing that can get solved at 3:15 in the morning, but it's on my mind anyway. Eric started the first of three weeks of band camp this morning. He left the house at about 6:40 and Kaleb woke up at about 6:45. That was way too early. I decided that since he was just talking to himself in his crib, I'd let him and I'd snooze a little longer. I guess he got really hungry at 7:10 because he started fussing. I reluctantly got up, made a bottle, changed him, and fed him in the living room. After he ate I laid on the couch while he pulled out all of his toys...eventually settling on the drumsticks. He was acting sleepy so he took his morning nap a little early - 8:30. It was only an hour nap, but I laid down, too. Unfortunately, my insomnia problem happens during the day as well. He got up around 9:40 and we played until Eric got home for lunch at 12:30..then it was naptime. I love naptime! Especially long ones (3 hours) like he took today. Eric's parents were coming down for dinner so I had to clean up a little bit, take a shower, and try to have some "me" time. When Eric got home he watched Kaleb so I could finish the laundry, put up the dishes, and pick up all of the babe's strewn toys. We went to Las Fuentes where Kaleb pulled over my glass of water, emptying the ice in my (and his) lap. He cried because it was cold and scary and I went outside to warm up. When we got home I put Kaleb to bed and fell onto the couch unable to move...except I wanted ice cream. Caramel Kettle Crunch...yummy! Now I'm blogging in bed, preparing to read Twilight for the 100th time, and hoping I can fall asleep.

A Mommy's Super Scary Moment

Kaleb hasn't had a very good day today. He's got a couple of top teeth coming in so I know that's hurting him. Plus, he tried to pull up on Lucy and when she ran away he fell . Luckily Eric caught him (by the face) before he hit the tile floor. But, by far, his (and my) scariest moment today was after he threw up. He did a little bit too much playing after eating a biter biscuit and he threw up a little bit. I put him in his highchair while Eric was getting a wet paper towel to wipe up. All of what happened next happened in about 2 seconds. I look over and Kaleb is standing up in his highchair. He pushed on the tray, which was not all the way locked in, and it flew off of the highchair onto the floor. Because Kaleb was leaning on it, he went flying with the tray. The highchair was close enough to the table that I saw him fall face-first into the edge of the table and then go face-first for the tile floor. I went into mommy-spidey-sense mode and grabbed him by whatever I could. This happened to be the butt of his onesie. I grabbed his butt, flung him around, and held him tight. By this time he was screaming and crying and I was crying, too. It was awful. After about 5 minutes he was playing again, but he has a nice line-shaped bruise on his cheek. We were so lucky that he only hit his cheek on the table and that I was able to catch him before he cracked his head open on the floor. It was not my favorite mommy moment.

The Virgin Expedition Part 3: Wildlife Wonders

Iguanas run rampant, hermit crabs are tiny and huge, birds and fish think they're on National Geographic, and catepillars are shiny. People who've been to St. John told me that there are iguanas everywhere and that they just walk around. Well, it's true. You can see some in the pictures, but that wasn't all of them. On one of our last days on the island, an iguana was sunbathing on our pool deck. There was iguana road kill, which was sad. There were iguanas on rocks, in trees, and in flowerbeds. I saw more at the Westin than I did anywhere else. They were just walking on the lawn, eating flowers, and crossing the walking paths.

Hermit crabs showed up on our front porch one night. We saw a giant one and then after we looked around, we saw there were crabs of all sizes. Brad tried to pick one up and it "attacked" him so he dropped it, breaking it's little shell. Poor thing.

At the beaches I got to see a fish jump out of the water, wiggle around, then flop back in. I also got to see a pelican dive into the water to catch a fish. It was circling over the water so I knew something awesome was about to happen. Everyone else was drying off but, since I'd already been out of the water awhile, I was sitting in my beach chair watching it all unfold. The bird swooped down, dove underwater for about 2 seconds, then emerged with a big, fish-sized beak. He just zoomed off to a tree after that.

One day after it rained we went outside and saw these black and white and shiny red catepillars with hot yellow tails and heads. Apparently they turn into these huge moths called Sphinx Moths. Look em up.

The Virgin Expedition Part 2: Sea Stories

Sea Stories: Snorkeling

The water is as clear and beautiful as they say. I could see straight down to the bottom even from the top floor of our villa. There are sea turtles, fish of all colors, sting rays, coral, sea urchins, and one type of coral plant life shimmers purple in the sun. St. John doesn't have much else to do besides go to the beach, but there is snorkeling at every beach. Just about every beach has other, smaller islands out a bit with good snorkeling around them. When we went to Cinammon Bay there was just such an island that we snorkled at. Well, THEY snorkled at. As some of you may know, I'm scared of water. I don't like all the possibilities of what might be in there and I especially don't like not being able to see at least 100 yards in every direction. The island was pretty far off, but about half way there was a big patch of coral. Until you get to that patch, there's nothing but blue water and white sand. I was terrified the whole way out there, constantly look for Eric beside me. When we got to the coral, we swam around and looked at everything. I really think the snorkleing is better in Hawaii, but it was still pretty. The rest of them swam out to the island, but I decided to head back. I was already tired and had my book waiting for me on the beach. The swim back was scarier than the swim there because I was by myself. Every few seconds I would look to my left and right for sharks then look up to make sure I was still heading in beach direction. I saw a stingray on the way back to the beach, but since I was alone, no one believes me.

Sea Stories: Kayaking

The last full day we were there Eric and I went sea kayaking around Cinammon Bay. The only time we tumped over was when we were first trying to get in it. We went out to the island mentioned in the first part of Seas Stories, kayaked around it, then went to a smaller beach. On the way to the smaller beach we saw what was either a tail fin of something big or the remnants of a plane rumored to have crashed there. We also discovered what I guess was a type of sea urchin. It has white spikes that wiggled and a grayish black body. Poor Eric would have had so much more fun if I wasn't with him. He married a water sissy.

The Virgin Expedition Part 1: Travel Tales

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I've decided to break my Virgin Island experience down into different categories: Travel Tales, Sea Stories, and Wildlife Wonders.

Travel Tales: Airplanes
Going to the Virgin Islands doesn't take as long as going to Oahu, but with a 10 month old it seems like it. Not really. Kaleb did better than I ever thought he would. We flew out of Memphis, went to Atlanta, then headed to St.Thomas. Kaleb was so interested in the airplane that he didn't fuss at all. We, on the other hand, had some quiet ugly words. We had only a 50 minute layover once we got to Atlanta, so we needed our plane to leave on time. Well, of course that didn't happen. We boarded the plane all right, but then another connecting Delta flight was late so they decided to wait on them. It took about 30 minutes for them to get all boarded and the flight attendants to cross check and us to take off. That left 20 minutes to get to our next flight. Once we got to Atlanta and got the gate, the accordian looking thing was broken and wouldn't come to our plane. Of course! When it finally did and we got off the plane, we had to book it across the entire Atlanta airport to get to our terminal. We took off at different paces, Eric and Kaleb up front, me and the stroller about 50 feet behind, the in-laws another 50 to 70 feet behind me. I get to T10 and the plane is going to Chicago. Of course everyone's cell phones are still off from the flight so I have no idea where to go. I finally get in touch with Eric and they're all at gate T02...on the other side of the T terminal. I'm running as fast as my tired little legs will carry me, thinking I should have stretched first, glistening, watermelon red to the other end. While they were all there the flight attendant lady told them that I had 23 seconds to get there or they were leaving without me. I made it! Kaleb slept on the plane to St. Thomas and when he got fussy we gave him puffs. The end of the plane story TO St. Thomas.

On the way back to the South we had to fly from St. Thomas to ATL to Memphis. The check in portion of the airport at St. Thomas is outside...and hot. Then there's the customs section. Then the luggage section. Then the security section. The airplane is parked outside and we have to walk up the steps to get to it. It was right out of an old timey movie. The flight to Atlanta was pretty uneventful. Kaleb slept half of it and ate puffs the rest of the time. We had a 3 hour layover in Atlanta, which was nice because we didn't have to rush, we got to eat supper, I bought a new book (because I finished Gone with the Wind - yahoo!), and we headed to the gate for our 9:55 flight. Kaleb met another baby and they crawled to each other just like in a movie. Our flight was delayed because of "late arriving crew" so we didn't leave until 10:50. My sweet baby was asleep as soon as the plane's lights went off and stayed asleep until we got to the car.

Travel Tales: Cars
Let me preface this section by saying that people on St. John drive on the left side of the road, it is all mountains, and drivers there are nutty. Brad got us an Explorer for the week. The air didn't work well and we had to take Dramamine everytime we got in. Eric had to ride in the trunk section, backwards the first night because we couldn't get the back seat up. It wasn't as odd as I would have thought being on the left side of the road. There were gorgeous views from the mountains and the roads were really steep. Thankfully I didn't have to drive at all. And there were SO many Jeeps. If you weren't in an SUV or Jeep you weren't getting up those mountains. Plain and simple. I don't think I'll be getting an Explorer.

Travel Tales: Boats
We had to take a boat from St. Thomas to St. John. The one we took at 11:00 pm was rocky, and it was dark so we were a little on the naseaus side. The boat ride back was significantly better. It was daytime and we could see the amazing water, the beautiful surrounding islands, and feel WONDERFUL air conditioner. It takes a lot of work getting to and from St. John.